Sanctuary
by Kameka
Summary: Mel reflects on her life in general and her alien roommate in particular.


Disclaimer: Not mine, no money made. No real spoilers.

Notes: Thanks to everyone who helped: Blue for beta'ing, Nat for helping me pick a title, and Aby simply for being you.

Summary: Mel reflects on her life in general and her alien roommate in particular.

Sanctuary

By Kameka

You're like no one else in my life: not man, not woman, nor child:

Uniqueness personified as you struggle to protect this alien world.

What is it about you that draws me so much?

Your strength? Your innocence? Your belief in good? Your reliability?

They make me want to teach you and save you from humiliation,

Offer protection to the warrior as his mission continues.

Your gentle smile is as radiant as the sun,

It's bright light driving the darkness of my fears away.

You are quiet strength, a wall to lean on when I falter within myself.

Your mere presence a taste of peace in an otherwise insane existence.

When you're in pain, something within me twists, tears, shudders.

Tears roll down my skin and my heart bleeds for what you must face,

For your struggle is my own, your suffering is shared.

When you're happy, I feel weightless, flying in the warm glow,

That incandescent light that surrounds us, binds us together

And my own burden is lessened by the possibilities I can see.

You are safety, a shelter in the storm that always welcomes me,

The song of a bird that soothes me, lulling me.

You are laughter, with your alien ways and your innocence;

Never knowing what you'll do next has kept me young, made me young.

I'm no longer mummified, wrapped in bandages of my own making,

My emotions safe from the harm of living, my soul safe from the harm of losing.

Now, I feel and revel in my life, knowing that I am stronger,

That I can survive; that I will survive.

You give me that strength, that belief, that hope.

You are the shield that allows me to help without losing myself.

It was destined, our meeting here like this.

Together, we're unbeatable and offenders will be brought to justice.

Two beings from different worlds cross paths, as we should have.

We belong here, together, until we are once more torn apart.

"Mel?"

She jumped slightly at the softly asked question and guiltily turned towards her alien roommate. "Yes, Cole?" She closed the leather bound journal that she had been writing in and looked around the silent bar.

"Are you okay, Mel?" The Tracker looked at her face carefully. "You seem sad."

"I'm fine, Cole," she answered, absently lifting one hand to check her cheeks for betraying wetness. The last time she had tried writing, a floodgate had been breached and she'd been unable to stop crying. At least that had been in the semi-privacy of her apartment instead of in the Watchfire.

Cole nodded skeptically, concern still written across his expressive face.

"Really, I'm fine," she repeated, one finger tracing the soft leather beneath it, the small movement focusing her, soothing her. She was aware of the smallest movement around her and flinched silently as Jess came up to the two of them.

"She's just writing, Cole," the Englishwoman told him as she reached out and touched Mel's shoulder briefly.

"Writing?" He turned back to Mel with a slight frown. "I did not know you wrote, Mel."

"It's just something that my grandmother got me into when I was young," she explained. "Writing down your feelings or things that happen to you can help you figure out your feelings and where you stand. My grandmother was a lifetime advocate of having a journal." She looked down at the leather beneath her hand and smiled a bit sadly. "This was one of her last presents to me," she told him as she traced the gold calligraphy that spelled out her name.

Jess grinned and reached out to the touch the leather. The book that sat before Mel was virtually identical to one that she had. "One to me, too," she whispered softly.

"Writing down emotions and experiences is common, Mel. You should not be ashamed," he told her as he rested one large warm hand on her shoulder.

"I'm not ashamed," she protested, heat rising up her throat towards her face.

"You should not be sad, either, Mel. It is a connection to your grandmother," he explained with that astuteness that still managed to surprise her.

She nodded and smiled. Trust Cole to see right to the heart of the matter and say the perfect thing to ease her loneliness.

Cole nodded again and reached out to caress her throat. "I must go, Mel," he told her, pausing when alarm flashed across her mobile features. "I know where to find one of the fugitives," he explained in a soft whisper as Jess moved away to wipe down the tables.

Mel collected herself and nodded. "Be careful, Cole," she reminded him as she always did.

"Always, Mel." The Cirronian turned and left the Watchfire, unaware of the Human woman who watched him go.

Mel sighed and looked down at the journal that rested on the polished wood of the bar. Opening it, she flipped through to the page she had been writing on and reread the last line.

__

We belong here, together, until we are once more torn apart.

One day, Cole would have to leave. Not to track the fugitives from Sar-Top, but for his home world. Not for a few hours or a few days, but for forever.

"Hey, Jess," she called out to the young bartender, "I'm gonna go for a run!" Without waiting for an answer, she hurried up the stairs to put on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, grabbing a bottle of water and her walkman on her way back downstairs and through the bar. Her pounding feet led her towards the park as she sought to lose herself in the mindless activity. As she ran, instead of clearing her thoughts, the activity served to allow them to continue in an endless loop. 

__

We belong here, together, until we are once more torn apart.

The last line she wrote came to mind and refused to leave.

__

We belong here, together, until we are once more torn apart.

With a half-sob, she sped up, trying to outrun the line of thoughts her mind had begun to travel. Saying goodbye to Cole, perhaps on the abandoned road they had found each other on. Her life, after he had left, running the bar, maybe with Jess unless she had found another place to work, somewhere else to live. Having to settle for the merry-go-round of a normal life after the roller-coaster excitement of helping track fugitives and making her planet safe. The boredom she'd face, day in and day out. 

The loneliness that stretched before her. Not seeing Cole every day, ever again. Missing the gentle smile that always lifted her heart. The gentle touches, a hug or the soft caress to her throat that always soothed her. His warm brown eyes, shining with a glow from inner radiance. The calm voice that always grounded her in reality.

The quiet strength that told her that she was safe from whatever horrors were out there, those both real or imagined. Horrors from her world or his.

How long ago had he come into her life? It felt like a lifetime, but it couldn't have been too long ago. Had she felt it that day on the abandoned highway? Had she seen underneath the stumbling, bumbling exterior to his strength and resolve? Even in her anger and panic, had she felt safe with him?

Her pace slowed almost to a standstill before she shook her head and began again, this time running at an easy jog instead of as if she was being chased.

Almost right from the first, it had seemed as if they shared emotions. Because his eyes were so expressive, she'd decided not long after giving him a place to live. Was it something more? Was it empathy? She'd always been able to read another person's emotions, but none as often or as reliably as Cole's. Why?

Did it tie in to why she'd given him a ride and began on one of the wildest she'd ever imagined herself?

__

We belong here, together...

Were they really meant to meet? Two beings from different planets with crossed destinies. Mel shook her head with a snort. Who was she, Lois Lane? She could see what type of advertisement would have been placed in a universal newspaper. Wanted: loyal companion from primitive backwater planet for advanced alien being with super powers. Must be willing to endanger life in exchange for being saved at the last minute.

It sounded absurd, but that was basically what she was. She was loyal to Cole, to his cause; she did help him with his investigations; she had placed her life in danger, and she had been saved. She had protected him when he needed it, helped him get used to his new body, the new planet.

Her only problem with believing they were destined to meet was what Cole had went through. Daggon, she reminded herself, using the Cirronian name Cole had revealed to her. Daggon was the Cirronian who had lost his family and become a guard at Sar-Top. Cole was hers: a Cirronian in Human form that she could keep to herself. That she didn't have to share. It was Cole she knew; not Daggon. It was Cole she loved.

Loved?

Did she love him? Could she have wished such sorrow and pain on someone she loved? That was what led him to Earth, ultimately. He came after Rhee and the other fugitives. Rhee, who brutally murdered his wife and daughter. Rhee, who stripped an incredible man of his family.

How could she think that a man losing his family led him to her? Was she that selfish?

She could feel his pain, his guilt, his distress. It was impossible for her to miss the fact that he felt guilty her world was endangered by fugitives from his. The pain and sadness from losing his family was still within him, a sore that ached constantly and occasionally flared, taking her breath away at the scope of love he must have felt. That pain actually sometimes made her jealous that his wife knew him first, loved him first.

Did she help him enough? She had offered a ride, a room in her apartment, and help whenever he needed it. A sanctuary to retreat to when he felt the need, a base of operations where he could plan in safety. But despite that Good Samaritan surface, she had found something infinitely more precious: herself.

He had made her live and fight for the right of life. His innate goodness had brought out her own. His willingness to help her planet had made her aware of her own selfishness. She had always seen herself as a good person, someone willing to help others. His ease in doing what was right regardless of how it hurt had forced her to look at herself. Change herself until she could live with what she saw.

It had taken an alien to make her the best Human being she could be.

Unable to be alone with her thoughts anymore, she headed home. Jess should make a good distraction, make her think of something else. She was intimately aware of her footsteps hitting the pavement, the pounding reminded her of Cole's strong, steady heart as he opened his arms and offered sanctuary.

__

We belong here, together, until we are once more torn apart.

Hopefully she'd be able to face that day.

The End


End file.
